A natural aphrodisiac
by Tashilover
Summary: You don't give chocolate to animals. Not even to parrot demons.
1. Chapter 1

Do you know how wonderfully delicious chocolate is?

It looks like nothing. A simple small brown square, barely the size of your thumb. But then…you take that first bite.

At first, that is nothing too. It takes a second or two for the heat of your tongue to melt the first coating. Then all of a sudden, you taste this sweet, dark bitter object in your mouth. It spreads over your tongue like a warm blanket- soft and sensual. You chew, and then you're assaulted by new flavors. Depending on the product, sweet delightful caramel or perhpas soft tickling strawberry; or my personal favorite, both.

When eating food, I tend to scarf everything down in a matter of mere seconds. But when eating chocolate, I sit back and let myself enjoy each and every bite.

"You look like you're having a seizure."

I open one eye to see my 'boss' looking at me from over his computer. I believe he doesn't like it when I eat so delightfully and he only gets to eat a decent mystery once every two weeks. I think he hates it when I am happy.

Instead of being insulted, I say with a goofy grin, "Chocolate has that effect."

A stapler comes out of nowhere and slams into my forehead at high speeds. I fall backwards, my head slamming into the table in front of the couch.

"Don't be sarcastic," Neuro said rather gleefully.

Picking myself up, my hands touch the back of head to make sure I hadn't cracked my skull. Amazingly enough, I walk away with only a small bump and bewildered thoughts. How am I able to walk away from such abuse?

"I am not being sarcastic!" I squeak like an idiot. "Studies have shown that chocolate releases endorphins in the brain, increases heart rate, body temperature, lowers cholesterol, and known to help depression!"

It's also known as a natural aphrodisiac, but I didn't dare say that out loud.

I dodge another flying stapler (how many does he have?) as he states, "Say it to somebody who cares. I am too busy looking for new mysteries online."

"Don't knock it off until you try it," I break off a small piece of chocolate from my collection. Neuro is known to destroy my food, I'll be damned if he ruins my whole brick. "Here," I shove it in front of him. "Just take this small piece."

He slaps my hand away. "I don't eat-"

"C'mon," I beg, bringing the piece back. "Just this once. And if you don't like it, I'll never bother you with it again."

When he still doesn't take the piece, I take a wild stab in the dark: by insulting his ego. "It's not like it'll hurt you…will it?"

He responds by tripping me. The piece of chocolate flies out of my hand and lands – against all aerodynamic odds- into his mouth.

"So?" I wince, getting up from the floor. "What do you think?"

He chews boringly. I am actually excited to know his thoughts on this magnificent piece of food. I know there's a very good chance he'll just spit out (in my face no less) but he was slowly becoming human; he might actually like it.

Then_ maybe _for once we'll go out to eat where I want to go, and not the other way around.

He swallows and I eagerly wait for his response. It is not what I expect.

Neuro places a hand over his mouth and moans. "Ugh," He grunts as he closes his eyes.

At first, I think he's kidding or over exaggerating, but then I see he is sweating. His color takes a dramatic turn and he leans over in his chair.

"Neuro?" I say softly, cautiously coming closer. "You okay?" He could still be faking.

All doubts of his faking illness flies out of my mind when he suddenly goes limp in his chair. "Neuro!" I cry out, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him. "Neuro, can you hear me?"

_Oh god, I've killed him._

How can I be so stupid? Neuro isn't human. So of course he wouldn't have the same response to food like I would! Idiot!

He is still breathing. Heavily and ragged, but still breathing.

What do I do? I don't know how to care for a sick demon. I thought about getting him some water but I don't know what kind of response he'll have. Water might actually kill him.

I give a sudden relieved sigh as I notice he opens one eye. Tiredly and slowly, his green demonic eyes focus on me and his breathing returns to normal. "Oh thank god," I say. "I thought something serious-"

All I hear from him is a growl. Not a deep seated throat grunt, a _growl. _Like something you would hear from a dog or a lion. "Neuro…?"

That's all I am able to get out before his hand suddenly grabs the back of my head.

I give a half strangled cry as I am pulled down to him. I instinctively throw out my hands to stop my decent, only for them to awkwardly land on top of Neuro's thighs.

"Ah!" Is all I am able to say as Neuro clamps his mouth over mine. "Mmph!" Is all I am able to protest as I feel his tongue playing with mine.

And _oh shit _is all I am able to think as I feel his hand slip up my skirt.

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A/N: This is all for you Yako/Neuro fans who want more um…_tension... _R/R please.


	2. Chapter 2

The only thing preventing me from collapsing into Neuro's chest is my hands on his legs. It's an awkward position and it puts a strain on my back- but I am upright.

I manage to pull my face away for a second, to grab a breath and to speak a protest. "Neuro," I gasp. "Stop-"

His hand is still on the back of my head. Once I get my breath back, he forces me back to him.

I've only been kissed once in my life. During lunch hour a few years back, the cafeteria sold out all of its sweet melon bread. Kanae had one of the still wrapped pieces and I begged her to let me have it. She said she would…on one condition.

I had to kiss Toya Tukohra.

At first I wouldn't do it. But then Kanae started waving that melon bread in my face and I lost all composure.

I don't even remember it all that well. Kanae told me (and still tells me with a devilish look on her face) that I stood up from the table, stomped my way towards Toya Tukohra, grabbed his surprised face and laid a fat wet one on him.

Kanae went on to say that I then threw him back down, made my way back to her and ate that melon bread with gusto. I only remember eating the bread, nothing else.

But if this how Toya must've felt when I man-handled him, then Toya, wherever you are, I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

Neuro was unrelenting. This wasn't some simple kiss I've often read in romance mangas. His mouth was hot and demanding, he would bruise my lips with each and every kiss. There was a moment where he tilted my head up, and ran his tongue across the roof of my mouth.

At this point did my brain finally kick in. Moving one hand at a time, I place my palms against Neuro's shoulders. And just at the point where Neuro was nipping at my bottom lip with his fangs, I shove as hard as I could.

Luckily for me, Neuro's grip on me was poor and I slipped out rather easily. The momentum of my push caused me to fly backwards blindly. The lower portion of my back crashed into Neuro's desk and I tripped and fell on my side. Neuro, who sat the whole time, simply wheeled backwards a few inches, never coming anywhere near the window behind him.

If I got hurt at any point of the tripping and falling, I did not focus on it enough to care. My body at the moment was in the 'fight or flight' mode. And since I knew I'll lose if I tried to fight, the only logical sense was to fly. I got to my feet as fast as I could and ran for the door.

For a split nano second as my hand wrapped around the door knob, I had hope that I would escape. I opened the door only slightly just as Neuro's gloved hand came out of nowhere and slammed it shut. I twisted around to see him luring over me, his hands on resting on the door on either side of my head.

_What have I done to him?_

I wasn't even a hundred percent sure if the chocolate is the one to blame. But I'm pretty sure Neuro wouldn't be acting this way unless some outside force was involved.

I _knew _chocolate has the potential to harm or kill animals. And Neuro's true demon form did resemble that of a parrot.

_But come on! _This was the guy who caught a bullet with his eyelashes! How can such a small piece of chocolate affect him in such a way?

The answer: much more than I would ever realize.

"Neuro," I spoke softly as not to provoke another attack. "Listen to me. You're not acting like yourself…"

I jerked when I felt his hand suddenly at my stomach. Even through the fabric of my school uniform and his glove, I felt the warmness from his palm. He lazily petted me, as if one would pet a dog.

I resist the urge to swat his hand away. I don't know what type of reaction that'll get. "It's the chocolate!" I gasp. "This isn't you. This is the chocolate."

I bite my lip to keep back a yelp. Neuro's hand was now on my right breast.

I grab his wrist to pull it away- his other hand grabbed my left wrist and held it firmly against the door. My other hand tried to pull his away, but with no avail.

He squeezed. A sensation I never felt before shot through me and I flinched violently at it.

I thought it would end but Neuro reapplied pressure. The sensation, still new but not unexpected, came back just as strong and I found myself between going towards it and wanting to flinch away.

His hand still holding my wrist, Neuro lowered his head down to me. I thought he was going to kiss me again. I felt his mouth travel down past my eyebrow, my cheek-

He squeezed again and my back involuntarily arched. My neck now exposed gave him all the access he wanted.

It was getting hard to talk now. It was getting hard to _think. _His hand still hadn't left my breast and his other had moved around my back, forcing me closer to him.

I try once more to break through the fog, hallucination, _whatever _that plagued his mind. "Neuro, listen to me you lousy son of a-"And that was when Neuro had found a _very _sensitive spot on my neck.

My knees almost buckled. And Neuro, the ever sadistic bastard, decided to focus there and only there.

"Oh geeze…" I breathed. It was all too overwhelming. I might just pop.

Enough is enough. I knew Neuro wasn't really at fault here- the chocolate was- but I wasn't about to sit back and let him molest me…more…than he already has….

He was in the perfect position, I think. I turn my head towards his and my lips unexpectedly met his ear. I took in intake of breath.

I screamed. As loud and as shrill as I could make my voice go. I even made _my _ears ached.

And did you know what type of effect it had on him? _None what so frickin' ever!_

What he did instead, was move his hand from my over-stimulated throbbing breast, to the other one, who was more than happy to take over.

He wasn't going to stop, I realize as a fat big stamp quoting _Duh _slapped on my forehead. I grit my teeth as another shot of electricity went up my spine and I practically threw myself into his arms.

And just as suddenly it began, it ended.

Neuro pulled back and dropped me like a sack of potatoes. I landed with painful 'whump,' easily canceling all other fond bodily feelings.

Neuro went to the couch, flopped down upon it heavily and draped one arm over his eyes. He groaned like an old man, tired of his weary bones.

Tired, breathless, and confused as hell, I just sat there with this dumb look on my face. After a long pause, I finally squeaked out, "Neuro…?"

A stapler met me in the face. _That makes three. _

"Shut it," He moaned. "I'm trying to sleep."

"Sleep!" I practically screamed, rubbing the sore spot on my head. "You…me…you…"

"What are you babbling about?"

My face was getting so hot, I swear at any moment it was going to catch on fire. "You don't remember? The chocolate?"

One green eye poked out from underneath his arm then disappeared. "I have no idea what you're talking about dishrag."

It felt like I was being torn in half. I was flabbergasted that he could not remember such a violation…! But yet, _relieved. _It was a sin that I could bury for the rest of my life and never have to talk, or think, about ever again.

_Ever _again.

"Oh, it's nothing!" I stammered, getting up from the floor. I grabbed my things swiftly, stuffing my books in my bag and shoving my jacket on. I notice my infamous bar of chocolate still sat uneaten on the table. I felt no desire to retrieve it. "I need to go home to fix dinner for my mom!" I hide my face away as another red episode exploded on my cheeks. "See you later, bye!"

I ran out as fast as I could. Once out of the building, once out onto the street, so far away that I could barely see the office, did I allow myself to slow down and breath. Gasping for air, I made one promise to myself that I'll follow to my death:

I am never going to give Neuro human food ever again.

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Stumbling over herself, I watch quietly as dishrag hastily grabbed all her things then suddenly dashing out. Once gone, did I allow myself a self satisfied smirk.

_I can't believe she fell for that._

**End.**

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A/N: I need a beta-reader! And a teacher! As ya'll can tell, my grammar sucks!

**Anonymous: **Aw, thank you! I appreciate the constructive criticism and glad that the awesomeness of my story has compelled you to come out of the silence. It's a stroke to my ego. (But the giant kick to the crotch is realizing that I'm _still _making the same stupid mistakes over and over again. I don't like ro-sham-bo!)

R/R peeps!


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